Active AimA Journey and Destination

What is self esteem? It is merely an opinion of how you see yourself. There are two types namely high self

esteem and low self esteem and between the two, it is better to have the first. This is because high self-esteem

enables you to love yourself for who you are while low self esteem doesn’t make you grow as a person and

make you successful.

But where do you get self-esteem? Well as a child, you get it from your parents. If they raised you right and

praised you for your achievements, chances are you will have a positive outlook of yourself and life. If you

happen to be raised by parents who are not very caring, well you won’t see the positive qualities you have and

will have an angry outlook at the world.

You can also get this from your friends and your peers because sometimes, how we feel about ourselves is

based on the perception of others. If you are able to ignore the negative sentiment, you are fine because you

don’t let such words affect you.

In the end though, your self esteem comes from inside you. To figure that out, you can ask yourself some

simple questions. Do you like who you are? Are you happy? Do you think you are a good person? Most of the

time, the answer is yes even if sometimes you have doubts about yourself.

To get rid of those doubts, well you should first accept your faults and realize that you are not the only one

that has this problem. Everyone has a few flaws that they want to get rid of so you must have the willingness

to change in order to improve yourself.

Another thing you should accept is that you are different from the rest. This is not only in terms of your

physical attributes but also who you are personally just like each person has their own set of fingerprints that

can never be duplicated by anyone else.

For those that need help, well they can get counseling to improve their self-esteem or listen to self-help tapes

that are designed to do the same thing as well.

Another technique which won’t cost you a thing will be to write down on a piece of paper 50 things you like

about yourself and then cherishing it. Since we all grow and change every single day, try to write down one

good thing you did about yourself daily so you can look up and realize that you are not a bad person.

When you have high self esteem, you are less likely to do anything destructive to yourself or to others. This is

because you have a positive outlook about life and are always optimistic about the future. With that, you can

probably say you can get anything you want out of life when you have this quality but remember not to

confuse it with being too overconfident because there are two different things.

Another benefit of high self esteem is being able to have an easier time handling problems and resisting

negative pressures. But we should not forget that is something that we inherit and not something we are born

with. This can change in the years to come only if we allow it and if this happens, hopefully we can be better

than who we were before rather than going the opposite direction.

Self-esteem is a good source of mental health and good well –being and the need for self- esteem is as

important as the need for mental development as the body craves for food.

It has been observed that individuals with good self –esteem are more assertive, relaxed and at peace with

themselves, who live balanced lives and always crave for self- improvement.

These people are usually independent thinkers and their outlook, oftentimes, positively create an impact on

other people surrounding them. Here are some common tips in maintaining a high self –esteem.

Optimism is very important, since it creates the atmosphere of positive state. In case things do not work out

the way it should be, stop for a minute and think about how to make the most out of the situation.

Know how to differentiate between your strengths and your weaknesses. Having a good self- esteem does not

mean not being helpless at times and needing help from others. Sometimes, we need all the encouragement

that we can get especially in moments of weakness when we feel down and blue. After all, nobody’s perfect.

Know your fears and conquer them. Knowing how to confront your fears will help you overcome adversities

and will make you more confident about yourself.

Assertiveness is also important in developing self-esteem, especially when faced with situations where it is

necessary to say no. Not every situation in life merits a yes, and sometimes when faced with situations that

call for one to say no, it is important to stress the point and drive your message home and be proud of that

decision.

Take good care of your mind and body. Many self –gratifying measures deal with efforts to take good care of

not just mental health, but also of physical development and attractiveness.

Self–esteem can also result from self –satisfaction and confidence. Set expectations with yourself, especially

by setting goals and ambitions, which are good motivators that can drive a person to aim for success.

Compliment yourself and always willingly accept it from others. This is one way of telling yourself that you

have done the right thing and that you have done good.

Do not eat too much or watch the news or violent movies before going to sleep. Always make it a point to

sleep well, that way, you start the day right and refreshed as you carry yourself.

Having fun is as much as keeping and maintaining a balanced mood all throughout the day. This will keep

an individual maintain a positive outlook and, ultimately, be also a good motivator to aim for success and

development.

It can also help strengthen the immune system.

Make it a point to always release pent-up negative emotions, since keeping them inside may result to

repressed emotions that could affect a person’s day to day mental demeanor. As much has possible, never try

to be a perfectionist, especially in dealing with other people or even with the way affairs are being conducted.

After all, nothing is practically perfect in the world and sometimes, the sense of thinking that something

could be flawed can turn out to be frustrating especially for perfectionists.

Lastly, surround yourself with supportive and positive people, and try to let go of people that you believe can

pull you down or make you lose your identity as a person or an individual.

Understanding the need for self –esteem is important, especially if you want to know how to understand what

it means to be a person.

We can’t help it but the friends we have influence who we are. If the friends we have are good, then chances are you won’t do anything stupid like take

drugs. This is difference of course if you hang out with people who do bad things because violence escalates and you will probably end up in jail.

This is the reason why parents should know who their son or daughter hang out. If the parent notices certain behavior of the friend that is not acceptable,

talk to your child about it and tell them that it is wrong.

Such an approach is better than telling your child not to be friends with this person anymore because this will strengthen the bond between the two of them

rather than creating a distance.

Aside from knowing who their friends are, it will also be a good idea to know who their parents are. This will make it easier for you to talk with them

should you notice a problem and this should also be something that they have to work on as well.

You should use this time to ask them certain questions about what expectations they have for their child and whoever they hang out with so you will also be

able to express your opinion. This will also give you time to figure out what activities your kids can do with theirs since this is different for each

family.

But how do we do that? There are many ways and you should be imaginative. If you have the time, try volunteering in the school where your child is in or join

one of the committees. This will allow you to watch your child without them knowing it and spend more time with them.

Another option is to invite your child’s friends to your house so you can formally meet them. Since you want to see how the friends behave outside the home,

go out with them by watching a movie. Pick them up and drive them home so you can spend some time getting to know them.

Your child will not only meet people in school but in the neighborhood and lately online as well. If they have a social networking account, chances are they

will meet other people and some of these individuals live in other states or other countries.

When you are faced with this dilemma, don’t panic because there are ways you can monitor who your child meets online. To do this, you have to set up an

account in the same social network and then get added into their account.

If your child finds out that you impersonated someone else, this could be perceived as an invasion of their privacy. Should this happen, talk to them about

it and explain why you did it.

In psychology, there is a saying where “tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are” and such a statement is very true when we are

influenced by media and other people instead of our parents. This will inevitably happen as or children reach the adolescent stage and although we can’t do

anything about it, we should be ready to talk to our children because you are the only person they can turn to if something bad happens.

Systems thinking is important for Organizational Change (OC)
practitioners (and managers) because rarely is there an “evil”
person in the organization bent on bringing pain and
destruction. Bad behavior, or ineffective behavior, is often
unwittingly rewarded by management. Protecting turf, not
communicating with peers, not contributing to the team, high
absenteeism, and resisting change happen for a reason.

In many organizations (especially in American organizations),
the management team goes “headhunting” immediately after an
error occurs or a problem arises. “Heads will roll!” they
declare. The assumption is that there is a bad person causing
the problem; if they get rid of the person, they get rid of the
problem.

More often than not, the person is not “the problem.” The
problem is typically embedded in the system. If we don’t change
the system, we will soon face the same problem again.

Lessons from Other Professionals

Systems theory was not originally developed by OC practitioners.
Systems theory has roots in the early theories of physical
scientists. They correctly understood that physical phenomena
don’t operate in a closed vacuum; physical phenomena
continuously interact with other phenomena in any given system.

Fortunately, the wisdom of systems theory did not start and end
with the physical scientists. Social scientists, including
sociologists and psychologists, have also adopted a systems
approach.

Systems thinking has been a highly effective tool of counselors
with at-risk youths. “At-risk youths” is a nice way of talking
about the types of teenagers who frighten us (at risk for drug
use, teenage pregnancy, or a life of crime). Many frustrated
counselors were devoting many hours to these youths. Typically,
after these youths faced up to their problems, and committed to
changing their behavior, they were sent home. But with alarming
predictability, these at-risk youths reverted to their old
behaviors. Why? Were they insincere about change?

Counselors eventually realized that sending these youths back to
the same abusive fathers, alcoholic mothers, and drug-abusing
friends was inviting failure. The youths needed support for
their new behavior; that meant changing the system. Counselors
began counseling the entire family. Changing the system (the
family) has been much more effective.

Organizational change consultants and managers must take the
same systemic approach. Peter Senge is often quoted for his work
on organizational learning. Personally, I believe Senge’s larger
contribution is in the application of systems thinking to
business organizations. Systemic change involves a lot of work,
but the change is powerful and lasting.

Open Systems

Open systems theory takes systems thinking one step further.
Systems Theory changes our diagnostic focus from the individual
to the system. Open Systems Theory helps us recognize the fact
that the system itself is embedded in another, larger system.
This larger system, its environment, exerts substantial
influence on the organization.

As OC practitioners we may see system-wide problems that exist
within the walls of the organization, but we must remain aware
of the environment in which the organization operates. A
business organization’s environment includes its customers,
suppliers, competitors, government regulators, and so on.

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