Active AimA Journey and Destination

Nobody is shielded from low self esteem. However, it is important to differentiate between feelings of low

esteem from sadness, or from the effects of a string of bad days. There are a couple of symptoms of low self

esteem that you can look out for if you feel that you or a loved one may be suffering from low self esteem.

First, it is important to realize that unlike sadness or feeling like you woke up from the wrong side of the bed

does not constitute low self esteem. This is because psychologists often consider self esteem as a persisting

self-conception. This enduring self-image can permeate into a person’s every activities, as it is at the core of a

person’s conception of his or her self-worth.

One of the first symptoms is constant self-deprecation. You may find that a person with low self esteem will

easily say bad things about his or her self, passing comments even about how they are not worth the time or

effort that people give them. They may also talk about their incapacity to fulfil their duties.

In addition to self-deprecation, people suffering from low self esteem will constantly express unhappiness

about their bodies and how they look. Poor self-image is one of the most telling signs of low self esteem. They

may constantly be paranoid and sensitive about what people think about how they look. What’s worse, some

of them may respond to this bad self-image through some form of eating disorder.

People who suffer from low self esteem may be obsessed with order, forcing themselves to comply by an

impossible standard of perfection in whatever task they are involved in. This may make them work slower

than others, and may make them more vulnerable to feelings of not doing well because of their own

impossible expectations. This feeling of failure (despite the fact that they did not fail, except by their own

impossible, perfectionist standards) helps further feed their bad perception of their own self-worth.

They may also be extremely eager to please, depending very heavily on the approval of others in order to feel

good about themselves. They find no pleasure in completing and succeeding in tasks unless they are

recognized by the people whose opinions they believe matter.

They may even be all too eager to compare themselves to other people they have high regard to. However, it is

important to note that these comparisons, for them, fulfil the necessary function of highlighting what they

lack and what flaws they possess.

While there are those who withdraw from society as a result of their low self esteem, there are those who

respond by uninhibited anger against themselves or other people. They may express this either by hurting

themselves or the people around them, even if these people are not those who triggered feelings of anger.

After all, because of low self esteem, these people begin to hate themselves and the people around them. They

are also likelier to suddenly explode in anger over very little issues when they feel that they are being

cornered or humiliated.

By identifying the symptoms of low self esteem, you will be able to determine the best course of action in

order to appropriately respond. If you or someone you know scores positively in terms of these symptoms, then

it may be good to seek help as soon as possible from a psychologist or therapist.

Self-esteem is something we all have. Some have a higher one compared to others and if you know someone

who has low self-esteem, you can help them change by handing them a self-esteem test.

One thing you can follow is the self-esteem test that is handed out by a specialist to a patient. This is made

up of seven categories and it is only after that person answers it that you can find a way to build up their self

esteem.

The first category in the exam is called procrastination. The purpose of the first section is to try and figure

out what are the work habits of the individual. Does this person do things on their own or do they need a

little push to get the job done.

The next category will determine whether the person is a risk taker or not. If you are risk taker, this means

that you have high self-esteem and are optimistic about whatever life offers to you. If you have low esteem,

you just want to play it safe rather than rock the boat.

Is it wrong to play safe? No but you have to remember that if you don’t do it, someone else will and you will

probably kick yourself in the head if you found out that they succeeded in doing something which you

planned to do yourself.

The third category will assess how well you cope with mistakes. Yes well all regret doing a few things in our

life but have you moved on? Some people have and some people still carry it with them. Individuals with high

self-esteem are able to overcome the failure in the past and get on the saddle again whenever they fall.

Aside from having regrets, the next category will check whether or not you generalize about a lot of things in

life. When we generalize, we don’t give people a chance and stick to the belief that it if looks like a duck,

talks like a duck then it is a duck.

But remember, each person we meet is different so whatever preconceived notions you have about someone

are not real unless you give them a chance.

The fifth category will check if we have anger issues. What ticks you off? We all have our limits but some

individuals are easily angered compared to others. The test will also figure out what causes it and so a lesson

plan can be made to try and change that.

Some people can easily get along with others while some are shy which is why they don’t have many friends

or have a difficult time keeping a relationship. The sixth category in the self-esteem test will determine how

well you relate to others especially people you have never met.

Finally, the last category of the self-esteem will ask if the person is happy or not. Although self-esteem is all

about accepting what you have and not thinking about what you don’t, some people can’t help but want

more.

Again, there is nothing wrong with wanting more but you must never forget or take for granted what you

already have.

After analyzing the self-esteem exam, you will more or less know what the person thinks of themselves and

others. You can now figure out a way to change some of those misconceptions. You can talk to them or let a

specialist take care of it. The important thing is that they change their ways.

The fear of low self esteem has fed a lot of well-meaning but completely misguided efforts in improving self

esteem. After all, many people fear that some acts of violence, like bullying, result from low self esteem, or

from an exploitation of other people’s low perception of their own worth.

This doesn’t mean, however, that all efforts to improve self esteem are worthless. With enough effort and

support from other people, something as enduring as a person’s conception of their worth as people can be

slowly changed and improved. It is important to recognize that the process of trying to improve self esteem is

one that will take time and effort, and that any haphazard or half-hearted effort towards that effect can even

worsen a person’s self perception.

It is important to recognize that self esteem, to begin with, is not the same as self confidence. While self

confidence is more forward-looking, like a consideration of a person’s ability to do well in a future activity,

self esteem is a person’s long-term perception of their worth. Integral to good self esteem is self-love,

self-appreciation, and recognition of both one’s flaws and gifts. Low self esteem can contribute to one’s low

levels of confidence.

This means that someone who thinks he or she will be unable to fulfil a particular task does not necessarily

have low self esteem. This is because low self esteem is a wholly-conceived personality and self-perception.

There are a couple of symptoms of low self esteem, not limited to taking one’s self for granted, thinking one

does not deserve the love and affection showered on them, having terrible self-image, and imposing

impossible standards on one’s self and then punishing one’s self heavily for not meeting them.

In order to improve self esteem successfully, recognize that you may need help in the process, and that

seeking help is not a sign of failure. In fact, psychiatrists are trained specifically to help move you away from

your negative feelings and perceptions about yourself. With their help, you will be able to re-evaluate how

you view yourself in the context of your daily activities and your social interactions.

Do not succumb to the temptation to eat too little or eat too much as a result of poor self-image. Recognize

that by taking care of yourself, you’ll begin to appreciate better how you look, and that, at the end of the day,

your opinion on how you look is the only one that matters. Eat healthier, work out more, and sleep in once in

a while.

Work hard, and take credit for the good work that you do. You do not need other people to appreciate the

hard work you’ve put in; realize that with or without the recognition of other people, you deserve a pat on the

back for the work you know you’ve put in.

Put your needs before other people’s needs. This does not mean that you are thinking only of yourself as

though you were selfish. Rather, by satisfying your own needs first, you are able to better help other people

out. This is because you recognize that you are worth as much trouble as they are, too. This will also help

prevent other people from taking advantage of you, because you know that you respect yourself as well.

At the end of the day, improving self esteem need not be a losing battle. It all begins by recognizing that you

can improve your esteem, that you can get help, and that you can make conscious decisions daily to make you

realize your own worth as a person.

In our world today, it seems that we are being controlled by the advancements in technology.  It is not obvious to many but it dictates how we live our

lives.  We live in a culture where we wake up every day with the morning news people delivering information in a fast-paced format attempting to get the

viewers energized for the day.  They fill us in on the weather and the traffic scenario.  At the end of the day, we lounge in front of the television to

unwind after an exhausting day at work.  Because of this observation, the influence of television on society becomes more apparent.

Because watching television seems to be an integral part of every day, many people think that it is impossible to think of life without it.  It is just like

thinking of life without media; it is unimaginable.  Media provides information, entertainment, and comfort.  It also is reflective of the standard of living

of many people that they start investing in digital cables to increase their exposure to the hundreds of new channels that come with it.  Additionally, a lot

of people invest in high-speed Internet connections to keep themselves up-to-date with the happenings on the virtual world.  They use the World Wide Web to

learn more about their favorite shows, certain interesting personalities, and movies.

Everything we experience shapes us and molds us to how we are now.  And everything that we see on television influences the way we think to some extent.  It

is not only the shows and movies that influence our persona.  It is also the commercials that greatly influence our choices and decisions.  Commercials get

an ample amount of airtime, enough to make us stop and take notice.

Advertisements are made based on the target audience, and a lot of these commercials are geared to lure in teenagers and young adults because they are the

more self-conscious age groups.  They are always mindful of how they look in terms of their size, their clothes, and what they carry in their pockets.  This

generation still has what is called disposable income, as they are still excited to purchase the latest gadgets and new products.  Even as they seek

individuality at this age, they also yearn to keep up with their peers by having the latest products.  They tend to buy on impulse, which works to the

advantage of these advertisers.

What we possess, how we are, and how we are perceived dictate our social status.  This is how the society works nowadays.  And this is what advertisers are

exploiting.  They need avenues to penetrate the viewers’ psyche in hopes of them buying their products.  They create certain images in peoples’ minds that by

obtaining such things they will be better people.  While some claims are true, others give false hopes to the consumers.  We just have to use our

intelligence to identify which is which.

The influence of television on society is getting stronger and stronger as technology advances.  These shows, movies, and commercials adapt to the society. 

So while they are being molded according to what the viewers want, the more they will have great influence on how people think.

The evolution of our physical self, our behavior, our thinking is a result of the advancements in the media world.

Do you see life as a challenge to overcome? A party to enjoy? A struggle to endure? People have many different approaches to life. Some may work well for us, others may not.

The Eight of Wands illustrates one way to face life; as a wonderful opportunity. If we rush along thinking everything will be great we may well create good things just by our attitude. A happy friendly person is easier to get along with than a dour one. They are natural risk takers good at making things happen and change. They are good in business or invention. A downside of this attitude though is that sometimes in any life bad things happen, what does someone with this attitude do at these times? They can fall to the ground in a big heap as though their happy balloon has been punctured. They could see it as an opportunity to learn and get through that way. This is the challenge with this attitude, to learn to deal with disappointments.

The Seven of Cups is another way to face life; refuse to accept it as it is. Someone who lives in this way lives mostly in their own head. Their life is full of fantasy and wonderful dreams. This is great if they can express these fantasies, for example, if they are a poet or painter. Their imagination then can bring wonder to other people’s lives. The world needs this type of people. It can also be useful if their lives are a bit grim. Sometimes retreating to a fantasy world can help us endure times that are less than pleasant. The problem comes when the fantasy world overtakes reality or stops us from changing our reality. The challenge with this attitude to life is to embed it in reality.

The Seven of Pentacles is another way to deal with life; by being extremely practical. These people look only to the long term, are not risk takers and plan everything very far ahead. Their lives are full of routine, organisation and structure. This is good if they are the lawmakers and bankers in the world. We need people to keep things running. We need food to get from here to there, money to move from here to there. They also help keep society from breaking down. They are the people who always send birthday cards and always ring their parents. They keep society functioning. Their challenge is to learn the pleasure that comes from taking risks and the joy that comes from artistic expression.

In life we need these different types of people; we can class them as inventors, dreamers and bankers. Each of us has one primary way of looking at life which can be moulded over time but doesn’t normally change. It is embedded within our genes. As we grow we have to learn the restrictions and advantages of our way of approaching the world. When faced with something very difficult for our personality type, such as a chaotic situation for a banker type of person, then the challenge is to learn a way to deal with it.

By knowing what sort of person we are we can gain clues about what situations would throw us and how to deal with them. Consider your approach to life. Does it fit into the descriptions above? If not can you clearly define it? By taking a little time to think about this next time something comes along that upsets your internal balance you can think ‘Ah! I know why I don’t like this. I need …’ It’s only by knowing yourself that you’ll know how to fill in the blanks. Most people learn these things about themselves over a lifetime. Perhaps by taking 30 minutes to think about it you can learn a bit quicker!